“It’s really difficult to internalize that what we see in the endless stream of images on our screens is not something we all should strive to achieve,” says Design Stories columnist Hanna-Katariina Mononen and admits to also having felt home envy herself.
IN RECENT YEARS, many articles have been published and many debates have been had on the extensive, sad phenomenon also known as home shame. Home shame is about feeling that your home is somehow lacking and something you need to be ashamed of. I believe that home shame also has to do with the phenomenon of home envy.
Today’s media environments are particularly liable to poisoning our minds and making these feelings of envy and shame rear their ugly heads. There’s only a thin red line between a source of inspiration and a source of envy. Other people’s life situations and interests fill our heads, creating a sense that all we should do in life is renovate and decorate – in a universally correct manner.
I’ve also suffered from chronic home envy and been forced to actively learn how to get over it. Home envy is, of course, a terrible feeling, like any other form of envy. It’s been great to visit the homes of other people, but instead of being happy for the person living there, I may have suddenly have started to crave the place for myself, thinking that it meets some previously dormant needs. This idea has then made my brain actively desire it all, making me feel lacking and creating needs.
“Home envy is, of course, a terrible feeling, like any other form of envy.”
There have also been moments when my home has been the object of open envy. One might think that someone envying your home would boost self-esteem or at least serve as some kind of confirmation that the right choices have been made. But no, on the contrary, it feels awkward and uncomfortable. At a time when homes have become something to show off to others, it’s difficult to emphasize enough how uninteresting it is to talk about your home instead of just living in it. It is, after all, only a home, a place whose value lies in something completely different than aesthetics.
SOME TIME AGO, I read an online discussion related to an interior design-themed post, and in that discussion, a young adult expressed their shame of the vinyl flooring in their home and how they felt that their home could never be the right kind of home or meet current demands. I’m still a bit upset and terribly sad about what I read, and I wish we could just get rid of this completely absurd pressure of making our homes somehow universally perfect.
“I wish we could get rid of this completely absurd pressure of making our homes somehow universally perfect.”
We are, of course, social animals. We keep a close eye on each other, comparing our lives and choices with those of others. However, it’s increasingly difficult to differentiate, for example, between unrealistic advertising images, images depicting interiors created by professional decorators and images showcasing the homes of interior design enthusiasts. Even though I work in the field, I must say that it’s really difficult to internalize that what we see in the endless stream of images on our screens is not something we all should strive to achieve. And, that there is no such thing as a universally correct way of decorating your home.
Perhaps the most common counter argument to this is the requirement for authenticity, that we would see more homes with a bit of wear and tear. I understand the logic behind these comments, but I also feel that it’s rather unfair to only regard a certain kind of aesthetics as authentic. For many, it’s precisely order and harmony that bring joy and give peace of mind. Perhaps authenticity comes from some other type of energy in our homes, something that is more difficult to explain and equally likely to be present in both richly and scantly decorated homes – regardless of their degree of tidiness. And, perhaps its just that kind of authenticity that is the answer to all these difficult questions.
My recommendation: Tauko Paus Pause
THE GRAPHIC DESIGNER of the Year 2023 Award exhibition “Tauko Paus Pause” by Tomi Leppänen is open at the Design Museum until 27 August 2023. Leppänen, who draws inspiration from conceptual art, has designed an exhibition focusing on the ways of indicating a pause in visual communication.
Tomi Leppänen's exhibition Tauko Paus Pause is open at the Design Museum Gallery in Helsinki 24.3.–27.8.2023.
The author, Hanna-Katariina Mononen, reflects on the issues of a beautiful and sustainable life in her monthly column for Design Stories. She thinks that just like in life, in the home, the most beautiful parts are unplanned – and often relatively ordinary as well.
Text and image: Hanna-Katariina Mononen